I was driving from Rome towards Venice with my friend Jennifer on Italy’s A1, which I learned later is the oldest highway in Europe, when construction dictated one lane of the northbound side be used for southbound traffic. It was awful, and after a while the need to pee became overwhelming.

Desperate, I tried various ways of relieving myself. I tried peeing in a cup, while my friend held the wheel. Didn’t work. I was eventually driven to trying to pee with my ass hanging out of the door. Didn’t work.

Then, around the bend, there it was – EXCRETA HILL (I had to look up what pee and poo collectively are called:) Skippity Fucking Doo-Da!!! Flies were buzzing busily, pools and piles of pee and crap were everywhere…and it was beautiful:) I found as clear of a spot as I could and let loose. Ahhhhh. As gorgeous as the sun gleaming against the ancient mountains and forests up and own this stretch of highway were, that hill was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Until I was done:O

So, to the torment and delight that was driving in Italy, I dedicate this song. A young Italian man sent me this song on a mix-tape many years ago after we met while both staying at the same B&B in London. We went to see my first opera, Verdi’s LaTraviata together, which is the opera this song is from. When Mr. Pavarotti sings, “Croce e Delizia, Croce e Delizia, Delizia al Cor,” it means “Torment and Delight, Torment and Delight, Delight of my heart.”